


Lost (The Walking Dead Season 4 Fanfiction)

by Catman1000



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Clementine - Freeform, Coping, F/F, Loss of hope, The Walking Dead Season 4, Torture, Violentine, Violet - Freeform, VioletXClementine - Freeform, the walking dead - Freeform, the walking dead telltale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-04-07 20:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19092937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catman1000/pseuds/Catman1000
Summary: Clementine gets kidnapped after the raider attack.Violet plans to take her girlfriend back, but when she does, she finds Clementine broken from physical and psychical torture.





	1. At Hell's Gate

**Author's Note:**

> It is the first time I've written anything and it probably sucks. Any kind of feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Fighting the raiders wouldn't have been an easy job and Clementine knew it. Still, she couldn't have imagined it would go so wrong. She was in a cage on her way to the Delta. All alone again. Nobody could have saved her. It all happened too fast.

She woke up on a bed in a small room. Everything was blurry, cold and dark. The air was heavy and she found it hard to breathe. She tried to get up. Her legs were like molten metal, bending from the force of gravity. She let out a gasp and fell on the bed. Resting for a moment, she remembered last night. How Lilly wanted to shoot her but couldn't, instead she hit her in the head until the teenager was unconscious. Everyone was too busy fighting to ever notice Lilly taking Clementine. And now she was here, in this rotting room. Regaining her senses, she tried to get up again. This time she managed to do it and looked around. The place seemed more like a prison than a room. It was empty, with only a bed, one depressingly small window and a door. The door was guarded by a red-haired girl about her age, holding a crossbow. She turned around and saw Clementine finally awake. The teenage guard's face filled with anger, as she got closer to the door and said with frustration.

\- You... You are the reason Marlon is dead! You could have kept quiet and saved him but you chose to fight and now he is dead.

Clementine was caught off guard. She panicked and took a step back. She looked at her and said:

\- Are you kidding me? You came to kidnap up and turn us into soldiers. Do you think that we would just let you to do that?

The red-haired girl got angrier and shouted:

\- You would have survived it! You are more stupid than I thought. If Lilly didn't want you alive and functioning I wou...

They heard a door open and the girl stopped mid-sentence. Lilly came in and made a gesture with her hand. The girl straightened up and marched out of the room. Lilly got in front of the door, looked at Clementine and said:

\- Finally awake? Good. I am impressed Clementine. The way you organized these idiot kids and held us off. You would make a great soldier. Who knows, if you prove yourself you might become a Leader of one of our groups.

Clementine looked at Lilly with disgust.

\- Do you think I would ever join your fight? You are fucking monsters. I wouldn't do anything for you.

\- Trust me Clementine. You will need this. You can't survive in the school for long. Especially after our last visit. Think about AJ. Do you really want to put him at risk after you know you can just come with us and be safe? I bet he would love to have a home.

\- We already have a home and he would never join you. You are bad people. We would never be safe around you.

\- Clementine... In this world there are no good or bad people. No heroes, no villains. We are either alive or dead. What would you like to choose? Because you either come with us or die. It is your decision.

\- You won't kill me, like you didn't kill me when you attacked. You need me, remember. Unfortunately for you I will never come with you.

\- You are right, Clementine. I do need you. And I can't really threaten you with death, but do you know what I can threaten you with?

Lilly looked at Clementine. Her smile: enormous. Her eyes: filled with sadistic joy.

\- Let's just say... There are far worse things than death.

\- They will come and will put a bullet between your eyes. - Clementine said.

\- Do you really think someone would save you? Are you really that naive? They will leave you. They would never risk their lives to save some girl who got their friend Marlon killed.

Clementine looked down with guilt building up inside her.

\- I... I saved them from you, you kidnapping assholes.

\- You are all alone Clementine. Better accept it now. Lee is not here to save you this time.

Clementine froze. She remembered how Lee saved her. How he talked to her while she held a pistol to his head. And then... His limp lifeless body.

Anytime Lee was mentioned Clementine shut down. She couldn't cope with her loss, so she threw any memory of him in the deepest, most hidden layers of her mind. A place where her thoughts were left untouched by anyone. Especially by herself.

Lilly's face lighted up, as she found Clementine's weakness. She watched the imprisoned girl's dark expression, enjoying every second of it.

\- So, Clementine? – Lilly asked – Would you join us?

Once the teenage girl came to her senses, she felt rage filling her soul.

\- YOU WILL NEVER SPEAK OF HIM AGAIN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!? – shouted Clementine.

Lilly knew that she had pushed her too much, but that didn't matter. She knew where it hurt. Still, there was a lot more work to do to break Clementine. Lilly stopped her intense stare at her and said:

\- I knew you would protest. Demonstrations are better than explanations, right? Bring him in Minerva!

Minerva!? That was one of the sisters who Marlon traded. - Clementine thought.

The red-haired girl came in with one of the kids.

\- Clementine, you didn't expect to be the only one captured, did you? – Asked Lilly.

Omar, tied up, entered the room. Minerva was right behind him, holding the crossbow to his head. Clementine's face went pale.

\- How many of us did you get? - Clementine asked, defeated.

Lilly looked at her with a smile on her face, but didn't answer.

\- Clementine, do you know what happens when someone doesn't listen to me? Minnie, pass me the knife.


	2. A plan for hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyet

Fighting the raiders wouldn't have been an easy job and Violet knew it. Still, she couldn't have imagined it would go so wrong. She was left alone again. Clementine was not here.  
Opening her eyes, Violet couldn’t remember why she was on the ground next to a dead body. She tried to stand up to see what had happened. When she did, she felt a sudden ache in her head. 

\- Fuck!

She put her hand on her forehead. Everything was still blurry. She couldn’t make out anything from her surroundings. It took 10 seconds for her eyes to adjust. When they did, she saw what had happened to the school. Everything was on fire. Nothing from the yard had survived. The gate was destroyed and soon enough walkers would swarm in.

\- Violet! Are you ok? – asked Louis, who had run next to her.  
\- Yeah, I am. Where is everybody? What happened?  
\- You got hit on the head by a raider. We killed him, but you fell unconscious. The others got inside the main building. We got Abel too.  
\- Huh? That prick survived?  
\- Yes, but now we should move. Walkers will be all around us soon.

Violet and Louis entered the main building. Violet looked around to check everyone. Ruby, Aasim, Louis, Rosie, Willy, Mitch, Ten and AJ were there, but where was Omar… and

\- Oh god where is Clementine!? – Violet asked concerned.  
\- They got her Vi. – Louis answered with sadness in his voice.  
\- What!? They got her!?

She covered her eyes with her hands and started pacing around. 

_How could have the raiders gotten her? Why hadn’t she done anything about it? Could she have done anything?_ – Violet started asking herself.

She was once again alone. It was just like the time she lost Minnie. She felt as though she had lost a part of herself. Wanting to be alone, Violet left the first floor and went in the headmaster’s office. She locked the door and sat on the principal’s chair. She tried to recall and comprehend everything that had happened, but no amount of rationalization could shake off the feeling that Clementine was not here. It was probably her fault too. Violet didn’t know what could happen to her girlfriend and that was driving her crazy. She wanted to cry, but she couldn’t. It made her weak. At least that’s what she thought. She heard a knock on the door.

\- Hey. It’s Louis. Are you ok Vi? Can you open?  
\- What do you want now Louis? – Violet asked, still shocked by that had happened.  
\- It’s just that… it seems like something is troubling you.  
\- Fuck Louis! Leave me alone!

Violet didn’t want anyone to see her in this state. Still, Louis persisted:

\- We can take them back Vi.

Violet raised her head. Louis continued talking through the door:

\- Abel is still alive. He will know where they are. We will find Omar and Clementine and we will take them back. I promise you. It will get better.  
\- I… I guess you are right. Wait, let me get the door.

The thought of saving Clementine gave her some sense of hope and determination. She went in front of the door and opened it. Louis was standing in front of her.

\- He is really wounded. We should go now. – He explained  
\- Let’s pay him a visit then.

They went to the bedroom hall where they had chained Abel in one of the rooms.

\- Why did you chain him here? Why not in the basement? – asked Violet  
\- Like I said, he is in a very bad shape. Ruby had to keep him alive, so we can question him. –Louis answered  
\- Ok, do you know how much he will live?  
\- No idea. Best to work fast. And Vi… be careful. He is our only chance to save our friends. If he dies, we can’t get them back.

They stopped in front of Clementine’s room.

\- He is inside. – said Louis.  
\- Wait! This is Clem’s room. Why the hell did you chain him here?  
\- It was the closest place where we could have put him. He was bleeding a lot and we had to work fast.  
\- Yeah and ruin the whole room when Clementine comes back.  
\- It was necessary. We were fighting against time.  
\- Well, you could have moved him.  
\- Ruby said we shouldn’t. Anyway, do you want to know where they are? Let’s go and interrogate him already!  
\- Fine! You go in first.

Louis opened the door to find Abel passed out on the ground. One of his arms was tied to the bed, which forced him to be in a very uncomfortable position. They went in and Violet slapped him. He woke up, looked at them and laughed.

\- That ain’t no way to wake an old man up from his afternoon nap. – said Abel  
\- It ain’t the afternoon, old man. – informed Louis  
\- Guess I’ve lost track of time. Anyway, why are you here now? Expect me to tell you where your little friends are, huh?  
\- Yes, we want to know where they are, and you will tell us. – said Violet  
\- I’m afraid I will do no such thing.  
\- Yes, you will, or the situation will become very ugly.  
\- I guess this is your first interrogation, right?  
\- It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is what you will tell us. If you don’t talk, I will have to introduce you to my little friend over here. – said Louis

He pulled out a hammer from his jacket. Abel raised his head and saw it.

\- I’ve been trained to endure pain and torture with far more painful equipment. Do you think a tiny hammer will do anything?  
\- Don’t try me! You will see how much it hurts! – Louis threatened.

He wanted to hit Abel but couldn’t. He couldn’t hurt anyone. Torturing a man was unthinkable for him.

\- Ha! You see. You don’t have the guts to even…

Able couldn’t finish as Violet quickly grabbed Louis’ hammer and smashed his kneecap, breaking it. He screamed in so much pain that Louis couldn’t take it. He left the room and Violet with Abel alone.

\- The fuck did you do, you little bitch! – Abel screamed  
\- Now, will you tell me where Clementine is?  
\- No way. Trust me, it’s better if you don’t know. You don’t want to be in her place.

Violet smashed his other kneecap, breaking it too. Abel’s scream was louder this time, as she had hit his broken leg. He started moving erratically, with adrenaline fueled rage.

\- FUCK YOU! STOP! IT FUCKING HURTS!  
\- Not until I know where they are!  
\- You don’t get it, do you? She is gone! Even if you do find her, she won’t be the same. Lilly has a special way of changing people’s mind… permanently. And I don’t mean in a good way. She will break her.  
\- No way! Clementine is strong. Stronger than you! Stronger than anyone I’ve known.  
\- She may be strong, but she is in no way invincible. She will break down at some point.  
\- Stop wasting my time and tell me where they are. I won’t ask a second time!  
\- Lilly will never give them up. Why do you even care about her. Look at what she has done to you. The school is destroyed because of her. Face it! You are better off without her.

Violet’s expression emitted pure anger. How dared he talk about Clementine like that, when he is the one that kidnapped her? She turned the hammer around and with all her strength hit Abel in the chest with the sharp side. Abel folded. He put his hands on his chest in pain. He was having a cardiac arrest from the shock. After she saw what she had done, Violet started doing chest compressions on him while screaming for help.

Ruby heard her and came in but was too late. Abel was already dead.

\- Violet! What the hell happened?

Violet stayed silent. Louis came in later and saw Abel’s dead body. The blonde stood up.

\- We should search him. – said Violet

\- Wait, aren’t you at least gonna tell what happened? – Louis asked

Ruby pulled up his shirt and saw the giant mark the hammer had left on his chest.

\- What in the world is this? Violet, did you do this?

Violet didn’t answer. Instead she left the room. She went in the headmaster’s office, locked the door, laid on the couch and started tearing up. She once again messed things up. She couldn’t save Clementine and now she had destroyed their best chance of saving her. The others came and knocked on the door, but she ignored it and it eventually stopped.

That night she couldn’t sleep. She thought about everything that had happened. She felt worthless. All hope was now gone.

The next day dawned and everyone had woken up. Violet was still on the couch, thinking about her girlfriend. If anything happens to Clementine, it would be her fault. 

Even though she was extremely hungry she didn’t do anything. She didn’t move at all, until she heard a knock on the door.

\- Hi Vi. It’s Ruby. I know that what happened yesterday is troubling you a lot, but you have to come out at some point. Please, let’s talk about it.

No response.

\- You must be hungry. I brought you some food. – Ruby said

Violet didn’t want to speak to anyone, but she was too hungry to decline food. She opened the door, tried to take the food and close it before Ruby could come in. Ruby slid her foot right before the door closed and stopped it.

\- I know you are upset, but we do have some good news.

Violet’s eyes widened. Maybe there still is some hope.

\- Say them then. – Violet gushed  
\- Well, we found this on Abel.  
\- Let me see!

Violet grabbed a small note. On it there were some instructions on how to fix a boiler on a ship. Below them:

There is a problem with the boiler. Our return to the Delta will be delayed until it is fixed.

\- Yeah and what good news is this? – Violet asked confused.  
\- If their return is delayed, we will have enough time to find Clementine. Plus, the instructions on how to fix the boiler contain the name of the ship. Willy found a book in the library about old ships and it just so happens that there is a lot of information on theirs.  
\- Well, great! What are we waiting for? Let’s start planning.  
\- Not so fast! You have to eat first remember?  
\- Fine. I’m coming to the courtyard then.  
\- Ok, but there Is something you must know… About Louis and AJ.  
\- What is it?  
\- They are pretty upset about yesterday. Louis said that you lost our chance to save Clementine and Omar. AJ doesn’t want to talk at all.  
\- Oh – Violet exclaimed, not sure how to react.  
\- It’s ok. I am sure they will get better. Just please, control yourself around them.

Ruby left the room. Violet grabbed her plate and left right after Ruby. The blonde entered the courtyard, where everyone had sat down on one table, looking at Marlon’s map.  
She looked at the gate. They had somehow managed to fix it by trapping it in between some metal parts. Louis stood up from the bench he was sitting on and came to Violet. With a disappointed look he said:

\- So, somehow you managed to lose our only lead… And by “lose” I mean kill a person in cold blood.

Violet didn’t know what to answer. She knew he was totally right, but she wouldn’t just let him judge her like that.

\- Shut the fuck up Louis. He deserved it.  
\- He wasn’t a threat and he was the only one that knew where they are.  
\- But we still have a clue, right?  
\- Not a very big one. Maybe if you didn’t kill him, we would know where Clementine was by now and not search for her!

Ruby overheard their argument. She came in running.

\- What the hell is going on here? – she asked  
\- Louis is bitching about Abel.  
\- Louis, this is not the time! – Ruby exclaimed  
\- Not the time!? She killed the only person in here that knows where they are! How can you pretend that’s not a big deal!?  
\- I understand you, but you aren’t making it better.  
\- Not making it better!? How do we know she just wouldn’t go out of control on us? Abel was a piece of shit, but don’t pretend for a second that something like that won’t happen again.  
\- YOU. ARE. NOT. MAKING. IT. BETTER.

Louis looked at Ruby annoyed and angry. He left them and went to the planning table. Violet glanced at Ruby and asked:

\- Why is he so aggressive? Did I really fuck up that bad?  
\- Give him time. He will change his mind.

Violet didn’t know what to think. He was right.

\- God! How could I’ve let myself get so mad!  
\- Vi, don’t beat yourself up like that. Nothing that serious has happened.  
\- Yeah, but he is right. I couldn’t control myself then. What are the chances I will control myself in the future?  
\- We were all on edge that night. It is normal, don’t worry. Now go and eat a little. You must be starving.

Ruby went to the planning table with everyone else. Violet sat on the bench opposite of theirs and started eating alone. She tasted the food and it was disgusting. Omar wasn’t there to cook for them. She wondered how Clementine was. Violet’s concern for her was eating her up. What if she didn’t survive? What if she wasn’t alive? What if when they found her, she was different?

Violet couldn’t help but think of something bad happening to Clementine. Abel told her that Lilly would break her. - _What does that mean anyway?_ – she asked herself. – _It’s not like Clementine would give up easily. She has people she cares too much about._ – Violet looked at AJ, who was desperately trying to avoid eye contact with her. 

She thought about the night they were on the watchtower. How she and Clementine were stargazing. How beautiful the night sky was. How the peaceful quiet had engulfed the atmosphere. Clementine had been standing so close to her, that Violet could feel her warmth. She had been so overwhelmed with emotion; she couldn’t have resisted sharing her feelings with her. Her heart was pumping fast. Her thoughts were racing. She…

\- Are you finished?

Violet raised her head and looked at who was interrupting her daydreaming. It was Mitch.

\- What? – she asked.  
\- Have you finished eating your food?  
\- Yeah.  
\- Then stop looking at your empty plate and help us plan our rescue.  
\- Shit, Ok.  
\- And try not to ruin things next time.  
\- I… - Violet wanted to say something but stopped.

She stood up and approached the planning table. She felt like a traitor. How could she want to help, when she was the reason they didn’t know where Clementine is? Louis raised his head.

\- Oh, here she is! –he said aggressively.

AJ left the table as soon as he heard Louis say it. Violet looked at the little kid with sad eyes. She had even made AJ hate her.

\- So, do we have some kind of a plan? – Violet asked  
\- We have an idea where the boat could be. – Mitch answered

He got the small note from Abel and opened Marlon’s map.

\- We know from the note that they are on a boat. Now, do you see this river on the map? Marlon wrote “Fucking don’t go here” on it. This leads us to believe this is the place where the boat is located. It is far enough so that we won’t see them, but close  
enough so that they can kidnap us.  
\- Well great. We should work fast. Let’s get ready and go see it.  
\- Actually, we are just about ready. Go get your weapons and we will get going.

Violet rushed to her room and closed the door when she entered. She got her cleaver and some binoculars. When she opened the door to get out, she found AJ in front of her. 

\- Hey, what’s up kiddo? – Violet asked.  
\- What’s up!? Why don’t you want to get Clementine back?  
\- What do you mean?  
\- Everything you have done after Clementine got captured has made it worse for us!  
\- I… I didn’t want…  
\- You didn’t want what? To kill Abel when he was tied down? What happened to “He wasn’t a threat to us”? Now I don’t know how Clem is.  
\- I’m sorry AJ. I didn’t want him to die. I just… I couldn’t control myself.

Violet looked at AJ. He was a little kid who had just lost his guardian. His mom. He didn’t know what would happen to her. He didn’t even know if she would be alive when they find her. Worse yet, nobody was there for him when he needed it. Last night everyone was too busy thinking about what they had lost. He was ignored when he was hurting the most.

 _How could I have been so stupid? Why did I let my emotions run me over, when I should have been there for AJ? Clementine would never leave him like that. She would have helped him._ – she thought

\- I’m sorry too. – AJ said  
\- What? – Violet asked confused.  
\- I am sorry I got emotional. I shouldn’t have. It is just that Clem has always been with me, but now when she is not here it’s really hard for me to not be sad or angry.  
\- AJ, it is not bad to get emotional sometimes. It’s normal.  
\- I’m scared. I’m scared what would happen to Clem. What they would do to her. I’m scared of…

His eyes started watering.

\- Of losing her.

Violet’s heart sank at the sight of the sad little boy. She got on her knees and hugged him as tight as she could. The little boy started crying on her shoulder.

\- It is going to be OK. We are going to find Clementine. – Violet reassured  
\- Do you promise?  
\- I promise. – Violet said, as she looked at AJ’s tearful eyes. – Come on now. I have to go searching for the boat.  
\- Can I come? – AJ asked  
\- Only if you stay close and are very careful.  
\- I will be.  
\- Let’s go then.

Violet and AJ met up with the rest of the group in the courtyard.

\- So, who is coming? – Violet asked  
\- Me, Willy and Louis. – Mitch answered  
\- I am coming too! – AJ exclaimed  
\- Really? AJ is coming? But he is just a kid.  
\- He and Clementine have survived for years alone. I think he can come. – Violet remarked  
\- I hope you are right.  
\- She is. – AJ said  
\- HEY, what are you waiting for! Let’s go! – Louis shouted from the gate.

The group went into the woods. The walk was mostly peaceful, with two or three occasional walkers. 

\- We are halfway there. – said Mitch while watching the map.  
\- Yeah. Great thing it is close. – Violet exclaimed.

A big fallen tree appeared on the road. It had fallen in such a way that it blocked the road. Violet decided to go over it first. She did, but when she stepped on the other side, a walker that had been laying down on the other side grabbed her leg. She fell and hit her knee on a small rock. The pain so much, that Violet couldn’t help but scream. Louis quickly jumped over and hit the walker with his weapon. He helped her get up. She tried to walk, but only stumbled around. He assisted her and they ran to someplace safe before other walkers could come. The group found a cave. They went in and Violet immediately sat on the ground. Louis went to her and asked how her leg is. She raised her pants and looked at it. It was a little bruised, but nothing serious. He asked her if she could move it. She could, but it hurt. 

\- It’s nothing serious. – Violet reassured  
\- I hope so. Ruby is not here at the moment. – Louis said  
\- Give me some time and we will continue.  
\- Alright.

Violet looked at Louis. She wondered why he was acting so strange about what had happened with Abel. Louis usually doesn’t judge people like that. He just makes stupid jokes. She decided it would be better to talk to him.

\- Hey Lou. Why were you so upset about Abel? He could have told us where she was sure, but we still got the information we needed.

Louis looked at her, thinking for an answer to tell her.

\- I just thought we could get more information. We could have increased our chances of getting back Clem and Omar.

He looked around to see if anyone could hear them. After he saw that everyone was still guarding the entrance, he got closer to Violet.

\- Hey Vi, can I trust you to keep a secret?  
\- Sure Lou.

His face got red. He mumbled:

\- I… I like her.  
\- What? - Violet asked surprised  
\- There’s just… something special about her. Now that she is gone, I don’t know if I will have the chance to tell her how I feel. That has been bugging me a lot and has kept me on edge.

Violet blushed. She remembered that she didn’t have the chance to tell them about her relationship with Clementine.

\- I don’t know how to tell you this. Just before the raider attack Clementine confessed her feelings. She… she is my girlfriend.  
\- Wait!? She is a lesbian? – Asked Louis, surprised.  
\- Well, she might be bisexual but that is beside the point. The thing is, she is already in a relationship with me.  
\- I… I understand. I won’t be bothering you then.

Louis got up and went to the entrance of the cave, visibly sad and uncomfortable.

\- Louis wait! – Violet exclaimed  
\- No, I totally understand. I won’t go in between you two. 

Violet stood up. Her leg had healed up enough so that the pain was barely noticeable. She went to Louis and tried to talk to him, but he insisted that they continue searching for Clementine. He didn’t want to listen to Violet. They got out of the cave and started following the road again.

They reached the river and saw the huge boat.

\- There it is! – AJ excitedly exclaimed.  
\- Yeah and look how big it is! – Willy was amazed.  
\- Come on guys. Let’s concentrate on what we are doing. – Violet said

She hid behind a rock and looked through her binoculars. 

\- What do you see? – Willy asked  
\- There are horses with some hay next to them.  
\- Hey, Ruby always liked horses. We can take them. She would really appreciate it. – Louis said  
\- Wait, there are some supplies on the pier. We could use them. Maybe someone could sneak up and take them. -Violet proposed  
\- Yeah, we are kinda running out of medicine. – Willy said  
\- What about the boat? – AJ asked

Violet looked at the boat. She scanned everything. She payed extra attention to the guards, remembering their weapons and memorizing their patrols. At some point a door opened on the deck From the door exited Clementine, with Lilly pointing a gun at her head. 

\- Violet what is happening? – AJ asked concerned

Violet froze at the sight of her tortured girlfriend. Clementine’s face was pale. She looked weak. Violet watched in shock as Lilly chained Clementine’s hand to the rail of the boat. Lilly said something and someone came out of the door with an axe. Violet’s heart stopped when she saw who it was. 

\- Minnie?! – Violet gasped.

Minerva raised Clementine’s other hand and put it on the rail. It was bloody, but she couldn’t tell why. Minnie raised her axe. In one swing Clementine’s hand fell from the deck straight into the water. Everyone heard her painful screams.

\- NO! YOU BASTAR…

Louis covered Violet’s mouth before someone heard. Clementine’s screams were far louder, so nobody had heard Violet. The blonde calmed down and looked through her binoculars again. She saw Clementine, now curled up on the ground crying from pain. It wasn’t long until she passed out. Lilly got a flame torch a heated up the axe. She started cauterizing the wound. Minnie was standing right beside her, holding some alcohol to clean her wound. She turned around and gazed at the forest. Her jaw dropped as she looked directly at Violet. The blonde dropped her binoculars.

\- Let’s go! – she said  
\- What happened? – asked Louis  
\- We have to go now. She… she saw us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was good. There were some problems with importing the text from Word that I had to manually fix. Hope I did a good job.
> 
> As always constructive criticism is very appreciated.


	3. Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nein

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank Soulox for helping me with my writing and CleliaStancu for checking the chapter for mistakes.

_(Back at the boat with Lilly and Clementine after she was captured)_

Lilly had fire in her eyes. The way she grabbed Omar’s hand and dragged him in front of Clementine was terrifying. She extended her arm and Minerva gave her the knife she had previously requested. Lilly grabbed him by the hair and slammed his head on the cell door.  


\- Look Clementine! This is weakness. This is the reason your group would never survive. This is the reason no other group you have been in has ever survived.  


Clementine’s heart was racing. Even though she knew Lilly before, she didn’t know what she was capable of now. The apocalypse changes people for the worse.  


\- WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? LEAVE HIM ALONE! PLEASE!  


The corner of Lilly’s mouth curled up, looking at Clementine with a sinister grin. She was enjoying this. She was enjoying watching Clementine’s vulnerabilities fall over one by one. The fear in Clementine’s eyes drove Lilly on and on.  


\- There is no way of defending him now Clementine. Do you feel it? The crippling pain when you know how hopeless the situation really is. You are never coming out of this cage. You will never see your friends again. And soon enough you will never see Omar again too.  


Lilly was sliding her knife on Omar’s body, feeling every spot, deciding where to cut. Omar was shaking.  


Clementine felt petrified. She wanted to think of something. She wanted to do anything to stop Lilly, but her mind worked against her, blocking any kind of willingness to intervene.  


\- Here’s the spot! – Lilly said, while holding the knife on Omar’s throat  


At that moment Clementine felt a sudden panic, as she saw the blade pressing into her friends’ skin.  


\- STOP! – Clementine shouted. – I will do anything, but please leave Omar alone.  


The teenage girl’s hands were shaking. She was too shocked to think through what she said. She hoped Lilly wouldn’t hurt her, but she knew that woman was unpredictable.  
Lilly stood there, with a knife on Omar’s throat, thinking what to do. Suddenly, in a burst of energy she stood up to grab a cleaver that had been hooked on the wall. With an ugly smirk she walked over to the cell and handed over the cleaver to Clementine.  


\- Let’s play a game! – Lilly said with an erratic excitement in her voice. – Friendships are important, right? We must save our friends from trouble and sometimes that means giving up something. - she raised her brow and gave Clementine a menacing smile - You will have to give up a part of yourself to save poor Omar. – She gazed at Clementine and focused her eyes on her hand. - I know! Your pinkie will do!  


Clementine froze. There is no way she could do this. No way Lilly could expect this from her.  


\- What!? No! You are insane!  


Clementine looked at the cleaver. It was sharp and heavy. She kept staring at it, without moving a bit. She couldn’t do it.  


\- Go! Faster! – Lilly said judgmentally, staring into Clementine’s hands.  
\- I… I can’t.  


Lilly pressed her knife on Omar’s throat, feeling the sweat coming from his skin.  
\- Your pinkie or your friend. It is your choice.  


Clementine looked at Omar. Was this the only way to save him? Would Lilly really kill him? She wanted to convince herself this was the only way, but every time she thought what she had to do, she froze and questioned herself.  


Finally, she lifted the cleaver. Her hand was shaking. She stopped and closed her eyes, hoping that this was only a nightmare, that she would wake up. She thought about how Violet would greet her, like she does every morning. How she would see AJ playing with Ten, happy as ever. Maybe this really was just a dream. It must be a dream. It has to be!  


But it wasn’t. Opening her eyes, she yet again saw Omar with a knife to his throat and above him Lilly, visibly entertained.  


\- What are you waiting for? – Lilly asked, annoyed by the teenager’s lack of action – Are you that useless that you cannot save your friend. You would fail him, like everyone else!?  


Lilly let out a laugh. She knew Clementine didn’t have it in her.  


\- Well… Let’s be honest. You cannot defend anyone. A lot of innocent people have died because of you. Omar would just be the next one.  
\- SHUT UP! – Clementine shouted, anger filling her, as she tightened her grip on the cleaver.  
\- You know what I think? You are the reason Lee is not here, am I right? He died, because of you. If you weren’t with him, if he hadn’t found you, he would still be alive. - Lilly saw Clementine’s body shaking - You’re useless! You don’t deserve anything! You don’t deserve the school and you don’t deserve AJ. They will all die because of you, like Lee did, like everyone you’ve ever known! Like Omar right now.  


Clementine’s whole body was shaking. She was now visibly furious.  


\- FUCK YOU! – Clementine couldn’t handle it anymore. Clenching her teeth, she swung the cleaver as fast as she could.  


The pain was immense. She fell on the floor, screaming and crying. Opening her eyes, she saw her hand. Blood was oozing from the place where her finger used to be. A puddle of blood was forming and, in the center, her detached finger. She tried to put pressure on her hand, try to stop the bleeding but she couldn’t. The pain too much to bear. She suddenly became lightheaded, and gradually everything went black.  


She felt cold envelop her skin. Everything empty. No soul in sight. Just black. She sometimes got these dreams. Where she pretended she felt empty. It was easier that way. Pretend that nothing had happened. Go on forward, throwing away her past. She didn’t need it. Too many painful memories – she thought. It was funny actually. Lee had the biggest impact on her life, but it was him that she always tried to forget. But as hard as she tried to suppress it, these thoughts still came and when they came, she was never prepared. The only hope is to hide it. Hide the pain, don’t show weakness. She had gotten really good at it the last few years. And there she had found a shelter. In her own painful silence.  


The thing is… At some point is becomes too much. Like an overflowing tank. First it starts cracking, then it breaks. And Clementine’s cracks have started to show.  


She woke up on the jail bed. Her hands tied to the bed, she found herself in an extremely uncomfortable position. She heard the door open. Lilly entered the room and sat on a chair next to her.  


\- I am surprised Clementine. I never thought you would have It in you. To give a part of yourself just to save a friend. – Lilly looked at the teenage girl with a dead serious look - The problem is that friendship is a lie.  


Clementine locked her eyes on her but couldn’t get herself to speak. She only watched her, terrified as she saw what this lunatic was capable of.  


\- Before I was just like you. I thought friends would help. That they would care. All changed on that damned van, just after the bandit raid, when Lee left me.  


Lilly frowned as she tilted her head down at the floor. Pain showed on her face, as she recalled her troubled memories.  


\- I don’t blame him, but I know I did the right thing. I knew that if Ben wasn’t with us, nobody would have died. Someone had to do the hard decisions, but Lee didn’t understand. He left me to die. I barely survived. You know something Clementine?  


The teenager looked at her, still with a frightened face, still dead silent.  


\- This world doesn’t allow friendships. Only survival. Nobody cares about you. Everyone would leave you if it meant living. We are the monsters, Clementine. Scarier than walkers. It is just how the world is now.  


Standing up from her chair, Lilly’s face became red as she raised her voice in rage.  


\- But you! All these years and you still don’t understand how this world works. It destroys you. It drains your humanity. It is never going to be the same. Everything you know, everything you have strived for, all your accomplishments, all your hope. Everything thrown away in an instant. All you can do is just exist. Just survive. And for what? Just to see a few more walkers trying to end you?  


She finally calmed down, her red face becoming pale. Turning around without looking at Clementine she quietly sighed:  


\- All meaning, all purpose we have had has been lost, forever.  


Lilly left the room. Clementine was now alone.  
The teenager was still laying on the bed. Her thoughts were racing uncontrollably. It terrified her. She always had managed to control them, or at the very least suppress them, but now it was different. She knew Lilly was wrong about friends. AJ, Violet, Lee and other people she has known have proven that, but did it really matter anyway? Why would she even try to find friends, when they would eventually die. Every time she had gotten to know someone, they would inevitably get shot, killed or get bitten. Then she would be all alone again. Moreover, all her life she was running, finding shelter and when it got destroyed, run again. She would never have a real home. Never know what it is to have a family. Only family she had was AJ, but now he was gone.  


She froze for a bit and then in a fit of panic...  


\- Oh god, I have to get out of here! – She whispered to herself.  


AJ deserved better. He deserved a mother. Clementine wouldn’t bear the thought of AJ being alone, like her. She wouldn’t make him go through what she had gone through with Lee. She would meet Violet again too. Her sweet Violet. Clementine missed her so much. She never had a relationship. It was so new to her. It made her days easier. To know that at the end of the day there was someone to hold her, hug her and cuddle. To listen to her. To help her when depressing thoughts stormed her mind. She couldn’t go on without her.  


She looked at her wrists. They had tightened her hands to the metal rail of the bed with leather bindings. She slid the bindings to the end of the rail, where a broken piece of metal was sharp enough to cut the leather. When she freed herself, she looked through the door. There were no guards, but the door was still locked. She put her hand under it, trying to open the latch, but they were too short. She needed something long. Looking at the bed, she found that the broken metal rail could be used as an extension of her arm. She grabbed it and pulled with all her strength. Thankfully the bed was old and the rail came off easily. She opened the door with the rail and hastily ran for the exit. There were no guards, which seemed strange, but there was no time for thinking. Freedom awaited. She finally saw the exit door. Opening it, she felt the cold breeze on her skin.  


Was this the end? Now that she was finally free, she could once again hug AJ. She could finally kiss Violet as she did before. She could hear Louis joking. She could see Aasim, Ruby, Tenn and Oma...  


A cold scary feeling rushed through her body. She realized she had forgotten Omar. Going to the school to ask the others to help her would have been smarter, but she couldn’t leave Omar with these psychopaths for one second. She turned around and opened the door. She started searching the whole ship, wondering where he was. She finally got to the final floor, where Lilly had locked Omar in a room the same as hers. She opened the latch and looked at him.  


\- Oh god! What have they done to you! – Clementine exclaimed, as she started cleaning the blood on his face.  
\- I’m sorry. – He said, looking at the floor, guilt clearly visible on his face.  
\- Sorry for what?  
\- They tried to interrogate me. They wanted to know anything they could use against you. Make you vulnerable and break you.  
\- You didn’t tell them anything, right? RIGHT!? – Clementine panicked. If Lilly knew anything about her attachment to the school children, anything about Violet, she would be destroyed by her.  
Omar started sobbing. He knew he had betrayed Clementine.  
\- I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.  


Clementine wanted to comfort him, but as soon as she tried to, she heard the door open. It was Lilly and Minerva. Lilly pointed a gun at her, as Minerva grabbed her hands. They escorted her out of the room. Clementine looked through the cage bars once again. Omar was sitting alone, beaten up, barely holding back tears.  


The walk back to her room was tense. Nobody said anything. When they reached it, they threw Clementine inside. Lilly entered with her.  


\- Minerva get out. I want to have a little chat with our disobedient prisoner.  


The red-haired girl got out, but instead of leaving, she hid on the outside to eavesdrop on the conversation.  


\- I’m completely disappointed in you Clementine. When I started thinking we would become friends you start running away like that.  


Lilly sat down on the bed.  


\- So, why don’t you like it here? You miss your friends? Miss your girlfriend?  


Clementine instantaneously stood up, as she felt blood pumping into her head  


She looked at Clementine with a smirk. She knew the teenager would grieve for them and she knew she could use it against her.  
\- You are not the first person we have captured from your school. I am sure you know who else we have taken.  
\- Sophie and Minerva… - Clementine answered, quietly.  
\- Exactly. They were terrified. They didn’t know where they were, what to do. The only thing they could think about was their sweet little brother, Tenn. So, you know what they did?  


Clementine didn’t say anything, just shook her head.  


\- They planned. They planned every second, so that some day they could get out, see their brother again. Sadly, it didn’t work out for them. The night they finished planning they exited their cells. They snuck past the guards. Everything looked great for them. The problem is that their plan had one big mistake. They never had a chance to go near the exit. They never knew about the guard there, so they grabbed a crossbow from the armory and shot him. Of course, we heard his screams and quickly caught them. I made a deal with them. If Minnie carried out justice and killed Sophie, we wouldn’t need to kill her too. She would have been pardoned for her disloyalty. So, we gave her the gun. She pointed it. She held it at her face, holding back tears.  


Lilly took out her gun and started smiling at it.  


\- Minnie closed her eyes and took a deep breath and then… She didn’t do it. She couldn’t. Then I shot Sophie. You should have seen how her sister held her dead body. How she cried. She just stood there and held at her dead body, staring at her lifeless eyes. Then she stood up and looked at me, tears flowing from her eyes.  
\- Why didn’t you kill Minnie? – Clementine asked, both intrigued and terrified of what Lilly would answer.  
\- I was going to, but when she looked at me, I knew she had already died. It was if I removed a part of her. It just wasn’t her anymore.  


Clementine wanted to be angry at Lilly, but she wasn’t. She was too tired. She lost a lot of blood and was lightheaded. Plus, what happened to Omar traumatized her. She didn’t have the energy to do anything. Lilly put on a smile.  


\- Minerva got her punishment. Now it’s time for yours Clementine. Say, how much would you miss your arm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry I haven't posted this chapter sooner. I have a lot of stuff going on right now. Anyway I intend on finishing this fic, but it might take a long time to do so.


End file.
